Needs > Numbers

Parenting the second time around is much different than doing it the first time. I've decided this time, it's much more about needs, less about numbers.

This time, I nurse Ben whenever he's hungry without groaning "but I just fed you 30 minutes ago!" Ok, I admit that I do groan a little--but only at 10 p.m. when he's hungry and awake and I'm ready to go to bed,

This time, I don't look at the clock in the middle of the night watching time pass. When Ben wakes up, I ask Kevin what time it is just out of curiosity. I feed Ben. I fall asleep. In the morning, I don't remember how many times or how frequently he woke up.

This time, with Ben being so much bigger than Colin, I admit there's a little part of me that fears his nickname in life will be Big Ben. But then I remind myself that he's sure to even out, and I've met plenty of normal sized children who were 10 lbs at birth. So drink up, little man.

This time, I don't cry as each Saturday comes and goes, sad that he's 1...2...3... weeks old. Of course I will miss him being this tiny, but there's so, so much more to look forward to. If Saturdays never came, I'd never get to hear his laugh or play with him, or listen to him "read" books to me, or hear him say, "Mommy I love you. You're my best friend" just as Colin told me a few days ago.

So you see, I'm learning that in life, needs are far greater than numbers.