Midwife appointment = Reassurance about the past

At my midwife appointment today, everything went swimmingly. BP, heart rate, belly measurement were all good. I lost a few pounds from last time, but baby is measuring beautifully. Midwife thinks the baby is head down with his/her legs splayed on either side of my belly. I'm not sure what's going on in there, but this kid is so active. I think there may be some Tai Chi sessions going on in my belly. Next appointment I get my cervix checked and that darn GBS test done.

I handed Midwife my water birth consent form and my "birth plan" (which wasn't very detailed at all!). She asked me if I had any questions, and I asked her the question I have been dying to ask her for the past 2.5 years: Why didn't Kevin get to cut Colin's umbilical cord? It was in our plan and it didn't happen. Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether he did or not, but because he didn't, it made me think something was wrong with Colin when he was born and nobody told me about it. All I remember is Colin coming out and a flurry of hands, and me seeing him, guessing he was a boy just by what he looked like because I couldn't see between his legs. I remember not hearing him cry, him being gray, and him being taken away. I was lifted out of the tub by Midwife and Kevin and got on the bed to deliver the placenta. First time mom thoughts running through my head, I thought something was wrong with him. I didn't get to hold him for more than 10 seconds after he was born.

Her answer? She seems to truly remember his birth. Which, in my book, adds to her amazingness. She said the nurse that was there that night (and she knew specifically what nurse it was) had never assisted at a water birth before. So when he was born, she kind of panicked because it was unfamiliar to her. So the nurse (?) cut the cord and whisked him away. When the umbilical cord is still attached, babies are still receiving oxygen from their mothers, so they look up at the world and don't necessarily cry.

Midwife told me that in the past 2.5 years, she has changed how she does water births. In speaking with a nurse about how she felt about water births, the nurse shared that water birth moms don't get to hold their babies for very long after they are born. Realizing she was right, Midwife now lets moms hold their baby as they get out of the tub and onto the bed. The cord isn't cut until after mom is on the bed. This sounds so much more comforting and "serene," as Midwife called it, than the whisk-away and the "wait, what just happened?" that I experienced with Colin. I am so excited to be able to hug and smooch on the baby right away for an extended period.

And hopefully this time Kevin will be able to cut the cord. Although he doesn't express any desire either way to cut it or not, I know he'll feel important doing it. And if he doesn't want to, that's okay too. But at least it sounds like he'll be able to do it now.

I seriously can't express how much knowing that absolutely nothing went wrong when Colin was born makes me feel. And the fact that, barring special circumstances, this time will be different. Huge sigh of relief.